Cancer of a friend

Re-post from my Yahoo 360 weblogAs soft as the rain dances on the flower petal....tears trace ones face....
God almighty...where has all the respect in life gone. People just don't give a shit about people feelings anymore, there are there just to cover their ass and its doesn't matter who it hurts. What goes around comes around as they say.
Sometimes being so senstive really sucks...but I have a huge heart with feelings for people that I just cant stop. Actually, I wouldnt want to be any other way.. I just love and I love deeply for those in my life.
What a terrible day at work. All your troubles become nothing when you hear about someone's elses problems. I just couln't wait to get into the car to go home today. I finially had the chance to let my feelings go. To know the pain someone will have to endure, well even to a deeper degree for him. A friend has lung cancer, they have to remove half of one. When George told me about Ed, after the words lung cancer,I didnt hear anything else he said. I had to go back later after I tried to hold back the tears and ask questions I'm sure that he told me first time around. C A N C E R ...has to be one of the most terrifying words out there today....more so then in the past. It's so that everyone knows someone that has been touched by it. Not everyone will be as lucky at Lance Armstong....that's on guy that should be dead. But, everything has reason and purpose for happening.
Time for a hot bubble bath I think.....hope to let some of the saddness wash away....
LiveStrong

outta sorts

Feeling out of sorts today...seems like those days are alot lately. I will be damned if I can figure out why.Things at work are ok, home is good, family is haging in there. Love my hubby dearly..kate has be on my toes all the time. So I am puzzled. Wish I could just look on the outside to see what's going on. I think I see a (cough cough) sick day in my future . Maybe I just need sometime to myself. Don't get much of that now a days. With Kate in Jr High now the school time is demanding, but well worth it. She is a smart kid and will go far in life. I have been blessed to have her. Think I need a hot bubble bath, some candles and a good massage... TTFN

Just a simple day

Re_post from my old blog on Yahoo 360----September 22, 2005

Just another day....just another JAFO.
Wishing I could color the world as beautiful as this sunset. To be able to make people stand in awe and take their breath away. But alas....I am just me, nothing more nothing less.
Do people really love people the way they are?I try to be the bes person I want to be. I never want to be number 1, there is no where to go after that. I know I can be hard headed in life...but I really do love people deeply.
Let me color your world..Your love is like my box of crayons.....one for every mood, mad, hot, sexy, steamy...

Eyes....windows 2 the soul

Re-Posted from my old blog on Yahoo 360 on:

Sept 20, 2005 Eyes R The Windows To The Soul

If my eyes are the windows to my soul, is my soul so empty that people are seeing through it?I feel as if anything I say or do means nothing to anyone. Am I not important in this world? I try to reach out for comfort and I grab onto air. Physically and emotionally I am spent.
I go through so much hell sometimes in my life, I just figure when I die, I get the golden ticket to heaven.....but I have this feeling, it doesnt work that way. I know there are others out there that are suffering worse off then me. Maybe thats part of my issue, I ALWAYS worry about other people and in the same turn, I forget about taking care of me and make my self sick, physically and emotionally. I never discount someone elses pain, god knows those that know me, know I help someone else before I do anything for myself.
I know we all have a purpose.....but....LORD, WHAT THE HELL IS MINE????

The purpose in life is to be with my husband and my daughter. Please, Lord, allow me to be with them again. Showing them all the love I have for them, all the days and years we have ahead...
Allow me to learn from my mistakes and to make me a better person. The pain and the hell I carry with me everyday, I feel I will carry a lifetime.