Scared

I am so scared to be living here alone....alot of creepy people and I know there are druggies here. I try to take any overtime I can at work so I dont have to be here that much. I am alone and the only person I have here is Dale, he has been a help when I needed things. Larry and I have talked in a round about way of me coming out and I asked him if he would be willing to drive me to texas...at least he told me yes.
Larry and I just have to get to that point, and I think we are, but it will take time. I know we set the lease up aas a miilitary thing so if I wanted to get out of it I could. We just need to talk more.
I love and miss them so much and just want them in my arms again. I dont do anything really and I dont eat well...frozen meals and once in a while Dale and I will go to a place that has happy hour for drinks. Usually they have free food. This is not a way to live for anyone.
I know Larry is trying his best with Katelyn, I believe in him and he is a good dad. Sometimes just confused, he really never had the best up bringing. But I am proud of him, I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. Although we are having problems, I have faith in us in getting through this....

Hoping to hold  you both soon....
all my love

I poured my heart our to you in a card today that I will send our tomorrow. I dont know if words mean anything sometimes, but I can only hope. I just want us to be back together and to make things better and want you to know I think of the two of you every day, every minute of my life. I know you are doing your best with Katelyn and I am sure you two are learing alot from each other. In a way, this part is good because you two are getting closer to each other and seeing her really grow up. Kids grow so fast and without me there, you have to do everything for her, and with her. Not to say, I did that like that..I mean as in..we should see our kids grow. When other people are around, we tend to not see it all.
We are so far away in distence right now but I carry the both of you in my heart and my heart is so heavy with grief, I just want all that love back with this two of you and to not miss another min more. But things are the way they are right now and I hope for that to change....soon. I know we both have said things in little ways wanting that to happen. I dont think we really understand what is going on...all I know is I want you, I need you , I Love you and I miss you. Both.
Hoping to talk to you later on.....