Christmas
Went home for christmas. I was so shocked when I saw my mom. She was fraile and pale, very sick. Me and El took her to the hospital, of course AFTER Christmas had passed. Same ol' line,"I just didn't want to ruin anyones Christmas". Yeah, like waiting then dying would be the better option...WHAT THE HELL!
After being pumped with all kinds of meds, chest xrays, etc we got to take her home. More meds to take, full oxygen now. Can't walk,coughs so violently one would think she was going to cough up her one good lung. Breathing treatments dont seem to help her much any more these days but she carries on with it all. Its so hard to watch her go through this and I feel her life has been cut by her smoking. She knows we are there for her always.Praying for a recovery, she is one strong woman and I can only hope to be as strong in life as she is/has been.
Her and I have talked over the last few years about how things went in the past. At first she was sad because of it, but when she started to watch Joey, it became her world.We both spoke of my pain in my relationship with Larry and my mom understood that from two divorces and told me to work everything out the best we can. Having family is the most important thing in life. I know mom tried to fill the shoes grams had...I loved her more to know she tried whenever possible. We both talked about how she always wanted her kids around but being military it wasnt going to be. She thinks at some point she would of wanted to go back to Toledo...not only to help with Joey but to be closer to the rest of the family. She would always talk about Larry and how much she loved him and that LOVE YOU game they played...lol Maybe someday she will hear it from him. He really is a great guy.
I was happy to hear that because that dark time in my life was just that. I never say I make the right choices all the time...I paid for them in so many ways. I longed for my whole family together again. We all wanted to be wanted and needed in life....I was just lost.I never wanted anyone else in my life, he was my guy and I loved and adored him. More then I showed, which is not the right thing to do. I really dont think it was anyones fault , we just didnt know how to cope with things. But forgiveness can be a great thing and I am glad we did that to each other and have moved on with our lives and look forward to life.
The odd thing about mom being in the hospitals...sometimes its where we have had the best talks...always by her bedside, holding her hand, rubbing it brings out the frailness of life.
I LOVE YOU MOM
After being pumped with all kinds of meds, chest xrays, etc we got to take her home. More meds to take, full oxygen now. Can't walk,coughs so violently one would think she was going to cough up her one good lung. Breathing treatments dont seem to help her much any more these days but she carries on with it all. Its so hard to watch her go through this and I feel her life has been cut by her smoking. She knows we are there for her always.Praying for a recovery, she is one strong woman and I can only hope to be as strong in life as she is/has been.
Her and I have talked over the last few years about how things went in the past. At first she was sad because of it, but when she started to watch Joey, it became her world.We both spoke of my pain in my relationship with Larry and my mom understood that from two divorces and told me to work everything out the best we can. Having family is the most important thing in life. I know mom tried to fill the shoes grams had...I loved her more to know she tried whenever possible. We both talked about how she always wanted her kids around but being military it wasnt going to be. She thinks at some point she would of wanted to go back to Toledo...not only to help with Joey but to be closer to the rest of the family. She would always talk about Larry and how much she loved him and that LOVE YOU game they played...lol Maybe someday she will hear it from him. He really is a great guy.
I was happy to hear that because that dark time in my life was just that. I never say I make the right choices all the time...I paid for them in so many ways. I longed for my whole family together again. We all wanted to be wanted and needed in life....I was just lost.I never wanted anyone else in my life, he was my guy and I loved and adored him. More then I showed, which is not the right thing to do. I really dont think it was anyones fault , we just didnt know how to cope with things. But forgiveness can be a great thing and I am glad we did that to each other and have moved on with our lives and look forward to life.
The odd thing about mom being in the hospitals...sometimes its where we have had the best talks...always by her bedside, holding her hand, rubbing it brings out the frailness of life.
I LOVE YOU MOM
posted by CoCoEyes4U at 8:07 PM
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