CoMpLEte ShuT DowN
Three months since a post.
I completely shut down mid-summer.
Nicole passed away in June.
Kathy passed away while I was home for 4th of July.
Ed passed away end of July. I swear I still see him at work.
Ended up in the ER on Aug 23 for chest pains then again on Aug 25 for sever head pain like I have never had in my life. Noodle was in school as I lay in the ER table praying to God I was going to see her again. Pain was nothing in my life before. As I was balled up in a fetal position, I heard them ask of strokes. I couldn't answer. Then I heard them talking of other things. I was showing signs of Meningitis . A spinal tap was ordered. I said "NO",then El said, "that's NOT what you want to do, we need to know." They made him leave as I gripped onto the bed rails as they proceeded. Tears streamed down my face. I began to make deals with God. I really thought this was the end, it sure felt like it. Good news, no meningitis. I laid on my back for over an hour, fading in and out from all the pain killers. From the slits in my eyes I could see El standing over me. I was so motionless that I recall him laying his hand on my chest, to see if I was breathing.Then I felt a kiss on my forehead. ( even asked him days later if the thought, "that was it," too, he just looked at me. I took it as a yes)Pain was unbearable, stephonid sinusitis they say. Deep seated pain is all I knew. Was out of work for two weeks. Couldn't move,didn't want to anyways. Still scares me, came on like wildfire. Not liking the idea they never did a CAT scan, would of made sense to me.
Sitting at home AGAIN, for the next THREE weeks. Two surgeries at one time. This is the second time for this nasal surgery to replace cartilage in the septum. Took the cartliage from my right ear. Ear hurts worse then the nose. Cast, stitches,packing,pain and nausea, God please make this one work. I think I have been through enough pain, body and soul the last few months to last me for sometime.
I completely shut down mid-summer.
Nicole passed away in June.
Kathy passed away while I was home for 4th of July.
Ed passed away end of July. I swear I still see him at work.
Ended up in the ER on Aug 23 for chest pains then again on Aug 25 for sever head pain like I have never had in my life. Noodle was in school as I lay in the ER table praying to God I was going to see her again. Pain was nothing in my life before. As I was balled up in a fetal position, I heard them ask of strokes. I couldn't answer. Then I heard them talking of other things. I was showing signs of Meningitis . A spinal tap was ordered. I said "NO",then El said, "that's NOT what you want to do, we need to know." They made him leave as I gripped onto the bed rails as they proceeded. Tears streamed down my face. I began to make deals with God. I really thought this was the end, it sure felt like it. Good news, no meningitis. I laid on my back for over an hour, fading in and out from all the pain killers. From the slits in my eyes I could see El standing over me. I was so motionless that I recall him laying his hand on my chest, to see if I was breathing.Then I felt a kiss on my forehead. ( even asked him days later if the thought, "that was it," too, he just looked at me. I took it as a yes)Pain was unbearable, stephonid sinusitis they say. Deep seated pain is all I knew. Was out of work for two weeks. Couldn't move,didn't want to anyways. Still scares me, came on like wildfire. Not liking the idea they never did a CAT scan, would of made sense to me.
Sitting at home AGAIN, for the next THREE weeks. Two surgeries at one time. This is the second time for this nasal surgery to replace cartilage in the septum. Took the cartliage from my right ear. Ear hurts worse then the nose. Cast, stitches,packing,pain and nausea, God please make this one work. I think I have been through enough pain, body and soul the last few months to last me for sometime.
posted by CoCoEyes4U at 11:13 AM
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