Eyes....windows 2 the soul

Re-Posted from my old blog on Yahoo 360 on:

Sept 20, 2005 Eyes R The Windows To The Soul

If my eyes are the windows to my soul, is my soul so empty that people are seeing through it?I feel as if anything I say or do means nothing to anyone. Am I not important in this world? I try to reach out for comfort and I grab onto air. Physically and emotionally I am spent.
I go through so much hell sometimes in my life, I just figure when I die, I get the golden ticket to heaven.....but I have this feeling, it doesnt work that way. I know there are others out there that are suffering worse off then me. Maybe thats part of my issue, I ALWAYS worry about other people and in the same turn, I forget about taking care of me and make my self sick, physically and emotionally. I never discount someone elses pain, god knows those that know me, know I help someone else before I do anything for myself.
I know we all have a purpose.....but....LORD, WHAT THE HELL IS MINE????

The purpose in life is to be with my husband and my daughter. Please, Lord, allow me to be with them again. Showing them all the love I have for them, all the days and years we have ahead...
Allow me to learn from my mistakes and to make me a better person. The pain and the hell I carry with me everyday, I feel I will carry a lifetime.