hoping...
I know it hasnt been long since we have sepearted but it mine as well be a damn lifetime...I cant handle the pain in my heart knowing what has happened. I would do anything to change it all back. I know some of this is my fault and the way I went about things may have been wrong. But I can only hope for forgiveness. NOTIHNG ever happened with that asshole Rob. Even though I felt like I was ignored I wouldn't do anything or let anyone ever touch me.
I miss your touch so very much, your kisses and your hugs. The mommy and Katie hugs and giggles. I am missing so much. This was a MISTAKE....
Just to be able to lay next to you in our bed. Sleeping alone with out your warm body next to mine, or laying on your chest to hear your heart beating, know it it was for me, because of me.
You do tell me you miss me and sometimes things are hard. Do you think you will allow me to come home? Do you miss me like I miss you? Are you hurting and angry? I am, at me, at us...
I never understood the pressures till now when you had to do your job or what we were supposed to do. I even trying talking to my mom, she had no answers. She missed you too and we tried to keep busy with things too.
Did school start, I dont even know if you told me...thats how fucked up my head is. I am going to miss her first day of school. I have never missed anything in her life and now this. Its not easy to take care of a kid or daily things. Working, mom, kates things, house things and worring about you...I was so scared and wanted to run away, and in a sense thats what I did, I guess. I wasnt doing anything. You not seeing, I guess, that you were ignoring us made me feel like we were nothing to you. We all make mistakes...
I know Larry is scared and confused too. I know he hurts as well and I dont want him to feel that way...he means the world to me.
Believe me, I am hurting deeply and I hope we can repair. We are strong and I need you, and me to be restart and believe Ill give it a little time till I start asking deeper questions to you about that. Till then, Ill keep rambling on here for myself.
I love you both and miss you
me
I miss your touch so very much, your kisses and your hugs. The mommy and Katie hugs and giggles. I am missing so much. This was a MISTAKE....
Just to be able to lay next to you in our bed. Sleeping alone with out your warm body next to mine, or laying on your chest to hear your heart beating, know it it was for me, because of me.
You do tell me you miss me and sometimes things are hard. Do you think you will allow me to come home? Do you miss me like I miss you? Are you hurting and angry? I am, at me, at us...
I never understood the pressures till now when you had to do your job or what we were supposed to do. I even trying talking to my mom, she had no answers. She missed you too and we tried to keep busy with things too.
Did school start, I dont even know if you told me...thats how fucked up my head is. I am going to miss her first day of school. I have never missed anything in her life and now this. Its not easy to take care of a kid or daily things. Working, mom, kates things, house things and worring about you...I was so scared and wanted to run away, and in a sense thats what I did, I guess. I wasnt doing anything. You not seeing, I guess, that you were ignoring us made me feel like we were nothing to you. We all make mistakes...
I know Larry is scared and confused too. I know he hurts as well and I dont want him to feel that way...he means the world to me.
Believe me, I am hurting deeply and I hope we can repair. We are strong and I need you, and me to be restart and believe Ill give it a little time till I start asking deeper questions to you about that. Till then, Ill keep rambling on here for myself.
I love you both and miss you
me
posted by CoCoEyes4U at 8:39 PM
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