What am I doing?
Every now and then I feel if I type my feelings they will help me...this time I am not to sure. I may have just lost everything in my life. My mom, my hubby and my daughter.
I sit here all alone...and I do mean all alone. In a drug inested apt ...I got to work and come and lock myself in the apt. I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE. I never thought I /we would be in this situation
I watched the loves of my life drive off and leave for Texas not long ago. I so desperately wanted to go with them, at that time it was too late. Would he have taken me with him, why didn't he ever say that things didnt have to be this way? Did he really not love me or care for me. You went with me to find a place for me to live...why? What was going though your mind too? Why didnt we ever talk about it?
Will we be a family again? We have gone through so much in our time with each other. Katelyn growing up, going to school...omg, I will miss her first days of school, her coming home. Me making dinners for us, family things. My mom back in Toledo.
My head is spinning so fast and so hard, when I am alone, which now, after work, is all the time... I sob uncontrollably He was my rock..now I have no one. I felt so alone and ignored in part of our marriage and when 9/11 time hit, it was incredible I was with mom, kate, working, he was never around, even when he was he was doing things he wanted, not family things.Yes, he shhould have time, but we wanted time with you too. We never talked about it, he couldn at some parts. It was a devastating time for everyone.
You are fighting for our country and I have said how proud I am of you , but we are here too. Did you miss us. All these things I can ask you now in calls or emails, but that doesnt help the time when it was going on.
Thats just it, I was so lost and hurt, not understanding.
All that time I really wasnt doing anything but viing for some attention. I never wanted anyone...you are him, always. I lost a few friends due to me sleeping on their couches and then it made it hard to go to work with those people. But I understand. I can only hope and pray to be with you all again....
Loving you....missing you.
I sit here all alone...and I do mean all alone. In a drug inested apt ...I got to work and come and lock myself in the apt. I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE. I never thought I /we would be in this situation
I watched the loves of my life drive off and leave for Texas not long ago. I so desperately wanted to go with them, at that time it was too late. Would he have taken me with him, why didn't he ever say that things didnt have to be this way? Did he really not love me or care for me. You went with me to find a place for me to live...why? What was going though your mind too? Why didnt we ever talk about it?
Will we be a family again? We have gone through so much in our time with each other. Katelyn growing up, going to school...omg, I will miss her first days of school, her coming home. Me making dinners for us, family things. My mom back in Toledo.
My head is spinning so fast and so hard, when I am alone, which now, after work, is all the time... I sob uncontrollably He was my rock..now I have no one. I felt so alone and ignored in part of our marriage and when 9/11 time hit, it was incredible I was with mom, kate, working, he was never around, even when he was he was doing things he wanted, not family things.Yes, he shhould have time, but we wanted time with you too. We never talked about it, he couldn at some parts. It was a devastating time for everyone.
You are fighting for our country and I have said how proud I am of you , but we are here too. Did you miss us. All these things I can ask you now in calls or emails, but that doesnt help the time when it was going on.
Thats just it, I was so lost and hurt, not understanding.
All that time I really wasnt doing anything but viing for some attention. I never wanted anyone...you are him, always. I lost a few friends due to me sleeping on their couches and then it made it hard to go to work with those people. But I understand. I can only hope and pray to be with you all again....
Loving you....missing you.
posted by CoCoEyes4U at 7:11 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home